Dear Barnabus,
My boyfriend thinks it would be sexy if we drank each other's blood. We've only been dating for a few weeks tho. Should I be worried about getting HIV from doing this?
- Vamp
Dear Vamp,
Fabulous question. Very close to my heart, as you may know. My initial advice: get a good bottle of Chianti, a nice calf's liver, and go from there.
Now, if you're truly interested in exchanging the holiest of holies, here are some facts about drinking blood.
Drinking blood is an archetypal act. Do some research, you'll find a lot of information. It's not as weird as you think. In fact, there is ancient archaeological evidence that points to blood drinking in Mexico, China and the Middle East. More recently, blood drinking practices were documented in Africa and the South Pacific.
Drinking blood usually has a ritual or magical component attached to it. Think about the symbology surrounding blood, and all of the phrases and ideas that exist, even today: "It's in his blood," "blood brothers," "emotion coursing through his veins," and of course the ultimate in the Christian faith: drinking wine as a symbol of drinking Christ's blood.
If you think about blood as a life force - then you can understand why drinking a lover's blood, for some people, might symbolize the ultimate in connections.
hope this small bit of information might lend a deeper understanding to your boyfriend's request to share in the swapping of blood. Perhaps it's his ultimate way of expressing a desire to connect with you.
A few notes on the safety issues: If you drink one another's blood, it's very unlikely that you can contract HIV. However, if the drinker has a cut or sore in his or her mouth, and the drinkee is HIV positive, there is a small chance that it will be transmitted. And don't forget about Hepatitis B, which can also be transmitted in the same way. My advice - if you do choose to swap the holiest of bodily fluids -- do some research and GET TESTED.
Good luck, Vampiress-to-be.
- Barnabus
Dear Barnabus,
My girlfriend likes to be strangled while we are making love. I do it a little bit just to please her, but honestly it just freaks me out. Should I be encouraging this behavior? Is it as weird as I think it is? and should she get help?
- Breathless
Dear Breathless,
It's not as weird as drinking blood, so we're good to go. Drinking blood and sexual strangulation - as many other sexual acts, have ancient roots.
First, know that the most "normal-seeming," quiet girls you meet might have requests such as this. It's not as bizarre as you might think. She doesn't need help, and if you care about her and want to continue a relationship with her, I would recommend you educate yourself and indulge her. I'm sure you have some weird sexual requests lurking beneath the fine veneer of normality that you show the world... Indulge her freak, and she'll return the favor.
As you embark on your strangulation adventures, keep safety in mind. For most domination and submission practices, a safety word is employed to guarantee that if and when things go too far, the submissive can end whatever is going on. When strangulation is involved, I recommend a safety tap rather than a safety word. People have used safety words for this sex act before, and have wound up dead. Safety tap - that's the key - some hand gesture that you both agree on ahead of time.
A few other tips: don't drink alcohol or do drugs before you partake. This is a sexual act that people really get off on, but tread lightly.
In the end, if it really freaks you out, you probably shouldn't be with this girl. Don't simply comply with her sexual needs, secretly wishing that you didn't have to do this weird freakish sex shit. Either embrace it, or move on.
Good luck, Breathless!
- Barnabus
Originally published October 2006 - "Supernatural"