Dear Dr. Dick,
My question is, do all women essentially have the same size and shape vagina? Because I have an abnormally large penis and some women are fine with it but some women complain way too much because of the pain.
- Daniel, 22, Portland
Daniel,
I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you don’t really know how to swing that big pipe of yours. But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vagina is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words, your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic you’ll find the answer to your question. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks and balls.
Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now, the variation in size and
shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. This is best understood as a potential space. A vagina is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space. Tell me you’re clear on that concept…please!
Again, if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, unless you’re hung in a freakish sort of way (and if you are I want photographic evidence sent to me immediately), just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue.
Second, and this is the most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice, long conversation with someone who actually owns a vagina. While dr dick is a very clever lad, who knows lots of things about lots of things, sadly he don’t have no vagina himself. So why not go directly to the source, Daniel? Before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand, ask your partner for a little tour. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. You’ll be sorely amazed. You think your dick is talented? Let me tell ya pal, it pales in comparison to a pussy.
Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with the woman in question. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which will hopefully make you a much better lover with whoever comes your way in the future.
Finally, if your women partners are complaining about your size, it probably has more to do with your ability as a cocksmith than it does with the capacity of their vaginas. Most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of the hose, report that their oafish male partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s no lubrication. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead. Get it?
A word to the wise, Daniel, if your dick is hard, it’s evidence that you’re properly aroused. If your partner isn’t lubricating big-time, then she not properly aroused. Which tells me that you didn’t take care of business like you should have before you started to poke and poke with your one-eyed monster. You want in? Better pave the way, pup!