Free Dating Advice from Jordan LaRousse
"Mr. Perfect seeking Ms. Right"
Dear Jordan,
I read your article "Four levels of attraction." That's some good stuff you have there. I need your help. I have found the girl of my dreams. But I do not want to mess things up. I seem to have all four levels down, but something always seems to go wrong. They leave me or stop wanting to be around me. But it's not like they drop me cold, they linger. They say they love me. And conversation is not a problem. I know how to spice up any conversation. Physically I can find anyone attractive. Every woman I have met has had something physically that I have found irresistible, for example, nose, mouth, legs, hands, etc. And the mental part does not seem to be a problem for me, either. I'm smart enough to be able to appeal to anyone's intellect. And sex is not a problem either. I love fucking, in fact, I have never had a problem keeping up with any of the women I've been with. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You're thinking I'm just puffing myself up to sound good, but I'm not. I just want to find out the reason for my failed relationships in the past. So it doesn't happen again. Thank you for your time.
-Joe
Hi Joe,
Thanks for the compliment. Glad you liked my article. I hope you find this one useful too.
It sounds like you might be carrying on one-way relationships with a number of the women who you have dated. Sure YOU can find anyone attractive, YOU love fucking, YOU are smart enough to appeal to anyone. But have you asked these questions: does she find you attractive? Does she love fucking you? And does she really think you’re smart enough for her?
The hardest thing about dating is, there is so often a huge disconnect between two people. One person can look at the relationship through rose colored glasses, imagining everything to be perfect; while the other person sees things more pessimistically, knowing from the start that the relationship has an inevitable end, and usually knowing exactly why. The sad truth is that most dating connections are lopsided, with one person being much more into the connection than the other.
As far as why these girls aren’t as into you as you think they should be, without knowing you, that’s something I can’t specifically answer to. Not to mention, every woman (who knows what she wants) will have her own unique set of requirements for her "perfect" partner.
What I can say is that I’ve ultimately rejected men for a variety of reasons: from the size of their penises, or the way they smell, to their poor vocabulary, alcohol problems, or giant egos. Being the nice girl that I am, I rarely if ever told them exactly why I didn’t want them. And, in fact, I often took the path of least resistance and faded off into the sunset. I’m not saying that’s the right thing to do; but it’s certainly a common thing for women (and men) to do so as to avoid confrontation.
You know when you have truly found the girl of your dreams when she can
reciprocate your attraction equally. When this happens, it becomes
easy, you’ll feel secure, and you won’t live with the gnawing concern
that you’re about to mess things up.
I can only say this is true as it's happened to me!
Don’t stress out too much, though. You seem like a friendly and open minded guy. Just keep dating, and don’t get too wrapped up in any one girl too quickly. When the right woman comes around, she should make you feel like you truly are Mr. Perfect.
Good luck!
Jordan
Originally published March 2010