Erotic Essay
"Showing Off:The Joys and Dangers of Exhibitionism"
a sex essay by Brian K. Crawford
Let’s face it – part of the fun and excitement of sex is due to society’s attitude that it’s forbidden and dirty; something you do only in private. So it’s only natural that for some of us, it’s particularly exciting to flaunt those rules and take it public. Nothing adds to the rush of lust like the danger of being discovered. But there are laws against “indecency” and the penalties can be severe. Public exposure could potentially cost you a job or even your freedom, and is at the least extremely embarrassing. So how far do you go, and how do you know when to stop?
For many public sex enthusiasts, it’s the idea of doing something forbidden and the chance of being caught that adds that extra fillip of excitement. And you can get that thrill almost entirely in your imagination, without risking anything. When you’re making love, imagine that you’re outside – on a beach, in a park, on the roof of the parking garage. Imagine people just a few feet away, unaware of your impassioned sex. Or go completely public – imagine you’re on a stage (Carnegie Hall?) before a crowd of thousands of people, all of them stunned by your beauty and the skillful and imaginative sex you’re enjoying.
But if such fantasies really get you off, you’ll be tempted to try something bolder and really take it outside. Should you – and how far should you go? As with most risky behavior, it depends on your level of comfort. Some people would never climb a cliff or jump from an airplane; others find that the element of danger is what it’s all about. While the dangers of exhibitionism are not as dire as those in skydiving, the risks are real enough. The costs must be weighed. Clergymen, politicians, and teachers, for example, should think twice before taking the chance of being exposed
So you’ve decided you want to give it a try? Talk it over carefully with your partner. Explain that it’s something that turns you on and the benefits your partner stands to reap. Be realistic about the dangers. Talk about some ideas you’d like to try and watch their reaction. You may well be surprised by how your partner responds.
I am probably not the first sex researcher to note that men like to look at naked women. So this would indicate that most men find the idea of a woman exposing herself in public extremely exciting. The problem may be when it’s his wife or girlfriend. Many men are too jealous to want to “share” their woman in such a way. Others don’t want people to think their wife or girlfriend is a “slut.” But if you propose it, you may be surprised at how many of your men jump at the chance to explore the possibilities of exhibitionism and public sex. It may well be one of their secret fantasies as well. They like nothing better than the idea of having such a slut for a partner.
If your partner is reluctant, don’t do it. A nervous, frightened, and reluctant person wouldn’t enjoy it – and neither would you. Many public sex adventures require planning, coordinated efforts, and above all, trust. If these aren’t present – if your partner isn’t committed to the enterprise, stay home and crank up those fantasies.
But say your partner is into it. Where to begin? One caveat – nowhere near kids. If there’s a school or playground, or even a place where children and teenagers might be likely to be, stay away. Even an understanding cop who might give you a wink and tell you to move along if he caught you giving head in your car would be sure to arrest you if there were a chance that children might be exposed to your shenanigans. You could end up being on one of those sex offender lists. So plot your locations carefully.
Second, plan ahead what you will do if things go wrong. Have an escape route planned; think what story you’ll give if confronted, consider ways to conceal your identity. If your car is involved, keep it nearby but placed so no one is likely to see your license plate as you tear off. Don’t wear a sweatshirt with your employer’s name emblazoned across it.
So you’ve made your plans; you’re both committed to it, and you’ve gathered your courage. You’re ready to stop talking and fantasizing about it and get out there and do it. What to do? If flashing is your thing, you will need a cloak. This should not be a Dracula-style cloak, but something ordinary that doesn’t attract attention. A dress that zips or wraps around you could work. The ever-popular flasher’s trench coat is still practical, but only if the weather calls for a coat. A short skirt and a boob tube are probably the best option – they can look and feel sexy without drawing undue attention to yourself, and knowing you’re naked underneath can be a huge turn-on for both of you.
The Coat, by Sean McCall available at ObsessionArt.com
Pick a good location, get the right outfit, make your escape plan, and then do it. It can be as simple as pulling down your tube top for a second as you walk behind someone. Go into a store (make sure you’re not on video) and bend down to examine some fascinating product on the bottom shelf, fully aware that your skirt is halfway up your ass. Slide into a booth in a restaurant and pull you skirt up around your hips. You may be surprised how sexy a smooth leather seat can feel on your bare bottom. Have your entire dinner that way. Let your partner slide his hand under the table to go exploring. See if you can order from the bored waitress while that’s going on. The key is to keep your faces impassive. If someone glances your way, either ignore them or give them a social smile, whatever you normally would. Do not flush red and yank your skirt down. Unless you look like somebody famous, it’s amazing what you can get away with in a public place, simply because everyone else is intent on their own business and have no hint of what you’re doing.
If you find a good restaurant where you can get away with it and feel relatively safe, try something more daring. When you’re sure no one is looking your way, open your blouse or pull down your top to show your breasts to your partner. Draw a crème de menthe circle around a nipple. Open your legs and have him bend down to recover a dropped fork. Take out his penis and stroke it under the table. But pay close attention to his reactions – you don’t want him coming in the crème brûlée. Just be aware of what everyone around you is doing – don’t let yourself get carried away just as the busboy arrives.
Once you’ve mastered such subtle techniques, you may want to raise the bar. Find a nice secluded spot in a public park. An ideal situation is a bench surrounded by bushes but close to a public sidewalk. You can see and hear people chatting as they walk past just a few feet away, but they can’t see you. Drop your top and let your lover kiss and fondle your breasts. The ordinary intimate acts of lovemaking become incredibly heightened by the nearness of other people and the risk of discovery. Kneel on the bench and watch the people going by as he enters you from behind. Raise your skirt and top, kneel between his legs, and blow him as he sits fully dressed on the bench.
Beaches offer other possibilities. It is possible to lie spoon-fashion on a beach blanket and pretend to be napping together. In the appropriate swimsuits, you can both remain fully dressed. With some subtle moves, he can pull your bikini bottoms aside and slip his cock into you from behind. You can both even lean on your elbows and gaze languidly around, and no one will realize he’s inside you. Of course, motion must be kept to a bare minimum and it’s nearly impossible to really screw in this situation, but the excitement of fucking in public and the discipline to not show it on your faces can be extremely stimulating. The same position can be accomplished if you wear a long loose skirt that he can raise from behind. I did this one once on a grassy knoll in a city park with no one close by. My lover and I were able to fuck to orgasm this way. Only after we had staggered to our feet and were beating a quick escape to our car did we notice a guy eating his lunch in his car not twenty feet away. He gave us mock applause.
Balconies, or other higher viewpoints, can be very useful for public sex. If you can stand where you can see all around you but you are covered from the waist down, your lover can lift (or remove) your skirt and fuck you from behind. With a top that’s loose at the waist, he can reach up under your top and fondle your breasts in full view of the street and no one is likely to notice. Either one of you can stand there in full view while the other is kneeling between their legs practicing oral sex.
Of course, there’s always auto-eroticism, that is, sex in a car. As your lover drives down the freeway, open your blouse, lift your skirt, or both. There’s nothing like the wind and sun on your bare skin to make you feel really naked. Turn sideways and raise your legs so your lover can see everything, then stroke and play with yourself. Just be sure he can keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel (well, one hand, anyway). My wife and I once went to a drive-in restaurant stark naked – we didn’t even have our clothes with us. It was a hot steamy night and lots of people were wearing very little. She was driving, and when she pulled up to the window to pick up our order, she moved up a foot or two too far so the clerk couldn’t see down into the car. My wife leaned out and reached way back for the bag, and I’m sure the guy didn’t know he was serving a naked couple. We both found it extremely exciting.
Another time I was driving on the freeway and she started messing around with my cock – first with her feet, then her hands, and finally her mouth. I reached behind her and pulled her top up, then lifted her skirt up around her hips. I found I could just reach her from behind as she blew me, and it worked very well for all concerned, even the car full of six nuns that passed me right at that time. Needless to say, sex while driving is not recommended by AAA or the Highway Patrol, so pick your road and situation accordingly.
Like any other high-risk activity, exhibitionism and public sex can be made relatively safe with the proper planning and precautions. Plan ahead, be aware of your surroundings, and above all, be careful. If you and your partner both find it exciting, it can be a very special part of your lovemaking that never gets boring. Enjoy!
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*Disclaimer* This article is intended to amuse and arouse and is not intended to offer true instruction or advice. Remember - you are responsible for your own sex life and your own decisions. Play safe and have fun!
xo
Jordan and Samantha
Originally published November 2010