Free Sex Advice
"Can Sex Toys Break My Hymen?" sex advice from Jordan LaRousse
Dear Jordan,
I was wondering if virgins can still use sex toys without breaking our barrier. Like ben wa balls and vibrators. That would be great to know, thanks. Also, I don't think I know my body well enough. Have any tips?
Thanks,
J.R.
Dear J.R.,
The barrier you reference is called the hymen. The hymen is a thin membrane that covers part of the opening of the vaginal canal. Traditionally, the intact hymen has been considered to be proof of virginity. The belief was that the membrane would only break when a woman was penetrated during intercourse. However, the truth is, the hymen has no direct correlation to one’s virginity. The barrier can be broken for many reasons, including riding horseback or bicycles, playing sports, and using tampons. For some women, the hymen will deteriorate and disappear without any help over time. For others, the hymen may remain intact even after intercourse.
Penetrating yourself with sex toys of any type can definitely cause your hymen to break, but this in no way means that you’ve lost your virginity, at least not in the traditional definition of the word. If you are truly concerned with trying to preserve your hymen, you could use a bullet vibrator and stimulate your clitoris and labia without inserting anything into your vaginal canal. The good news is, many women derive most of their sexual pleasure from clitoral stimulation alone, and don't necessarily require penetration to achieve orgasms.
Even today, some cultures consider the hymen to be the last word in a woman’s purity and desirability for marriage. For this reason, some women go to great lengths to keep their hymen intact, even resorting to hymenoplasty (surgical reconstruction of the hymen). However, it's healthier for a woman not to obsess over her hymen, as the bottom line is, she has little control over how or when it might be torn.
If you want to learn more about your body, I would recommend the following exceptional books:
The Clit-oral Truth by Rebecca Chalker, and Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natlie Angier.
Good luck!
xo
Jordan
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Originally published July 2011