Free Sex Advice
"Lingerie and Great Head" sex advice by Barnabus Collins
Dear Barnabus,
It's important for me to look and feel sexy. I often buy new lingerie and sexy underwear to wear when I know I'll be seen in it later that night. But whenever I do wear something sexy, it inevitably finds its way to the floor in less than 30 seconds. My question to you is, is it even worth spending money on lingerie? Does it matter to men at all?
Signed, Lingerie Diva
Dear Diva (and all of the ladies out there),
The answer to this question is contingent on a couple of factors. First, do you have a consistent lover or husband? Or are you still experimenting and spreading your delectable delight around? For the single woman who isn't seeing the same man more than once or twice, you only need to spend your money on multiple sets of lingerie if it's solely for your personal pleasure and the feeling that it gives you. After all, if the intention of the lingerie is to please a person who will only see it once, I see no reason not to "recycle" your bedroom look.
For those ladies out there who have one (or more) lovers of some consistency, or if you are married, know that men love lingerie. The more the better. Matching sets of lace undergarments, negligees, corsets with garters and high-heeled shoes...ahhh, the thought of long limbs and luscious curves in sexy garments is enough to feed any man's imagination and libido...However, know that your carefully selected silks and straps ending up on the floor more quickly than you had anticipated is a common occurrence in straight life. Many men just don't take the time to appreciate and participate in the act of seduction by enjoying your body while in the lingerie. But that doesn't mean that the lingerie didn't work - your body in thin lace and silk simply makes them want to see you entirely naked quicker.
Another thought for women who enjoy buying lingerie: Don't just put it on in the bathroom before a night in the bedroom. Put it on to lounge in during those lazy Sunday mornings. Or don it to enjoy that romantic dinner at home on Friday night. You'll get a little more wear out of your expensive purchases, and your lover will get to spend more time imagining that moment when it will fall to the floor.
Dear Barnabus,
Whenever I talk to friends or other women about giving head, they all tell me how awesome they are at it. You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard the words "I give the BEST blowjobs!" come from many, many different mouths. It seems like all women who enjoy giving head think they are awesome at it (while women who hate it just don't do it). Can so many women really be so good at it? What is the frequency of good head vs. bad in your experience?
Signed, Love to Tickle my Tonsils
Dear LTT,
All head is good head.
Okay, that's not entirely true. Teeth are bad. But in general, the frequency of good head to bad is very, very high.
Another interesting note: As you get older (assuming the women you date are getting older with you), the head gets better.
Ladies, I love you. But while your head is probably good, it's not great. My final answer is for you to go and read the article "Great Head!" by Jordan LaRousse, archived in the July issue of Oysters & Chocolate. Put her advice to good use, and you really will be as good as you think you are.
Originally published August 2005 - "Sultry, Sexy Summer"