Dear Jordan,
I recently got my libido back and am very interested in learning how to deep-throat my husband. Do you have any advice or can you give me a list of resources on learning how to do this? I am also interested in learning how to not gag when he cums in my mouth. Any advice there?
Thanks!
I Want to Swallow It All!
Dear Swallow,
This is a great question and one I've been meaning to address for quite some time now. The art of deepthroat is what separates the good lovers from the best lovers and it's high time we all learned how to perform it correctly! The following advice should help you to master the deepthroat techniques and give you some ideas on how to control that pesky gag reflex!
Relax
While learning to perform deepthroat, it's best of you are fully relaxed before starting. Take a nice, long, hot bath. Listen to some soft music. Drink a glass of wine. Have your partner give you a long sensual body massage....or do whatever relaxes you the best. The more relaxed you are when you begin, the easier it will be to learn the deepthroat technique.
Lubrication
Lubrication is critical to excellent deepthroat. An erect penis will slide much easier along the tongue and into the throat if it is well lubricated. Saliva will do, but there are other lubricants you can buy that are slicker and will last longer. Albolene is a completely odorless and tasteless lubricant and it is non-toxic. Although it is sold as a make-up-remover, it has been used in the adult film industry for years as a sexual lubricant. It can be purchased at any large drug-store.
Anesthetic
Although not necessary, an anesthetic can be useful in taming a particularly active gag reflex. A trick the adult film stars who perform deepthroat use is spraying a topical anesthetic on the back of the tongue and throat to deaden it. The most commonly used is Lidocaine spray which is available by prescription only! It is prescribed for people with sore throats and those with canker sores in the mouth. An over the counter alternative is Chloraseptic.
Position
The best position to perform deepthroat is one where you can extend and straighten your neck by slightly tilting your head back (think of a sword swallower!). This creates a straight line from your mouth to your throat allowing your partner's penis to slide in deep. Have your partner lie on his side then lie alongside him on your side with your mouth slightly lower than his penis, you can prop yourself up on your elbow if it's more comfortable.
Kneeling in front of your partner is also a good position for deepthroat. However, this position is difficult to maintain for long periods of time as it can become tiresome for your partner to remain standing and it also can become a strain to your neck and knees.
69 with you lying on top of your partner is a fabulous deepthroat position and you have the added benefit of being distracted with the pleasurable attentions of your partner. I've found that when I'm distracted I am more relaxed and more easily able to perform deepthroat without gagging.
While learning deepthroat it's better that you maintain the controlling position, meaning that you control the depth and frequency of penetration. After you've become comfortable with taking a penis deep in your throat, you'll be able to accept a more passive roll and let your partner control the depth. When you are ready for a passive position, try lying on your back with your head hanging off the edge of the bed. Your partner will be able to put his penis in as deeply as he wants in this position. This position provides an excellent view for your partner as he can watch your neck and throat expand and bulge as the penis slides in deep.
Technique
Once you're in position, slightly tilt your head back and extend the tip of your tongue just past your bottom lip. Flatten the back of your tongue just as you would if a doctor were using a tongue depressor to look in your throat. Extending your tongue helps flatten the back of your tongue. Force your throat open as you would if you were yawning. Contrary to popular belief, you don't "relax" your throat muscles to perform deepthroat. Forcing the back of your tongue down and your throat open will counter the gag reflex and create a larger opening for the penis to enter.
Now, take a deep breath and slowly slide the length of the penis into your mouth and along your tongue. When you feel the urge to gag, pause, take a deep breath and hold the penis there as long as possible then withdraw it. Repeat this process as many times as you can. Eventually you'll be able to take the penis in deeper and deeper until you can take the entire length of it across your tongue and down your throat
One thing to remember is when you get to the point where the head actually enters the throat, you may feel a little resistance and will need to give a little extra "push" to get the penis fully in. It may help to use your tongue to pull the penis in deeper. When you reach the point where you feel the gag reflex, pause for a moment, then, without removing the penis from you mouth, extend your tongue out a little further, and then pull your tongue back in your mouth, pulling the penis along with it.
Be patient and practice the technique as often as possible.
Advanced Techniques
After you've learned to take in the entire length, you can begin working on some advanced techniques that will add even more pleasure. One of these techniques is letting you partner ejaculate with the entire length of his penis in your throat. If you don't like the taste of cum, this is a great technique because the head of his penis will be well past the taste buds on the back of you tongue when he ejaculates.
You'll also be able to perform a throat massage on his penis while it's in your throat.
This technique will drive your partner wild with passion as your throat muscles massage his penis. This is accomplished by actually making a swallowing motion while the entire length of his penis is deep in your throat. You'll also be able to lick his balls while he's in your throat.
Remember: lubrication, extend tongue, flatten the back of your tongue, force your throat muscles open, go slow and be patient!
If you've never been deepthroated, you're probably wondering what it really feels like. Most men report that they feel a "pleasurable ring of tightness" around the circumference of the penis just below the head with the most pleasurable sensation focused on the underside of the penis where the head joins the shaft.
Good luck!
Additional resources:
Special thanks to the Ra Hoor Khuit Network
Learn more about giving Great Head with Jordan's July 2005 column.
www.ideepthroat.com Heather is simply the best deepthroat porn star I've ever watched. I learned the art of deepthroat from watching her! She is an invaluable resource!
Blow Him
The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio
Originally published February 2007 - "Winter Heat"