Shari moved through the store, her head down, her purse strap clenched tightly in her sweating hand. It was quiet, the local Top 40 radio station played lightly in the background. The air was sweet, almost fruity. Spring sunshine spilled in through the high windows and reflected softly off the glass shelves stocked with objects that caused her to blush and sweat even more. She was the only customer in the store that she could see.
She'd entered the sex shop on a dare from her boyfriend, Erik. "You're such a prude, I bet you can't walk in the door, let alone buy anything," he'd teased her the night before as he paused, lifting his head from between her legs. Shari shuddered from pleasure as he stopped talking and put his tongue to better use, softly licking her clit. His pinky dipped into her dripping pussy, then made slow, pressing circles on her anus. "I know you want to cum, darling. Maybe a vibrator will get you there."
She'd never had an orgasm before. She'd come close -- felt the quivering, the quickening deep inside her, the building of tension and pleasure -- but had never spilled over into ecstasy, not even by herself.
At 29, it was about time, she thought. When Erik left for work the next morning, Shari had stood looking at herself in her full-length mirror. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just let go? she thought as she stroked and cupped her full, firm breasts. She pulled at her nipples a bit and watched them rise in response. Her right hand drifted down her belly and between her legs. Her hair was soft and curly, and she petted herself gently, allowing her middle finger to slip between the lips. She stared deep into her own eyes. Let go, Shari. Stop being afraid. She knew it was all about letting go of control. She'd never been out of control in her entire life. She'd never done anything "bad." Well, she thought, maybe I should change that.
At lunch she sat on a concrete bench eating her turkey sandwich and watching a pair of ducks waddle along the shore of a small pond. She thought back to the night before, how hard Erik worked to take her to that mystical place, but to no avail. She thought of all the times in her life she'd played with herself, trying to find the right pressure and rhythm, trying to orgasm. She sighed in frustration. She thought perhaps she could talk to her friend Laura about it. Laura was adventure-girl, always gabbing about her latest sexual adventure. Shari doubted Laura ever had trouble letting go. She was sure her friend came at least once with every partner.
"Damn it. This is stupid. This is insane," she said out loud. She crumpled her lunch bag and tossed it in the garbage. The rest of the afternoon, she thought about Erik's tongue licking inside her, swirling around her anus, flicking her clit. She thought about Laura, her dark hair shining, her tiny breasts firm and braless under a tight black T-shirt. She pictured Erik's face -- square, strong, a bit Greek but not quite Greek-God.
Was it Erik? she wondered. He'd been her most consistent lover over the years. He was the third man she'd ever been with -- first Scott, her sophomore year in college, then Stuart for a brief three months when she was 25. They had both been mundane lovers, straight-up missionary men without many oral skills. She hadn't really enjoyed sex at all until Erik.
Erik was all about what he could do with his mouth.
Sucking her nipples, biting her neck, licking her tongue as they kissed. And of course, licking every inch of her between her legs. His cock was long and thick, unlike the others'. When he was inside of her, especially from behind, she felt such intense pleasure she thought she'd lose it and pee. He'd introduced her to the idea of riding him -- coaching her quietly in loving tones to rock her hips, lift up, find the position that made her feel the best. She began to like sex, like to lick the precum off the tip of his cock, like the idea of doing it someplace other than the bed. She'd actually even seduced him once, in the kitchen. He'd been making pancakes and had dropped the spatula. She reached down to pick it up and had come face-to-crotch with his penis, soft and flaccid beneath his flannel pants. She had eased the waistband down and put him in her mouth, sucking and licking him until he came all over her upturned face. The pancakes were ruined -- they went out for eggs later -- but she'd felt such a rush of power and pleasure in the act of getting him off that she'd fantasized about reenacting the scene in different locations.
But still, after almost two years, no orgasm.
At five o'clock, Shari shut down her computer and walked to her car. She turned the ignition and sat there, car in reverse and foot on the brake. I could go now. The store's on the way home. She caught her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her face was a bit flushed, but her eyes gleamed and she was smiling. OK, she mused. I'll go.
Now she stood in the store in front of a shelving unit that held at least two-dozen different kinds of vibrators. Jelly. Hard plastic. Versions with dolphins and rabbits and bees. A strap-on with a jelly butterfly. A remote controlled version. Her mouth gaped slightly as she stared, dumbfounded.
"Can I help you with something?"
Shari jumped and spun at the sound of the female voice behind her. "Um, uh, no. No, I'm just looking."
"As you can see, we have all the popular models of vibes. Do you know what you're looking for?"
Shari could feel the flush moving from her scalp to her chest to her toes. She glanced at the sales clerk... she was petite, with long, dark hair and straight, heavy bangs. Her face was pretty and heavily made-up; a small diamond pierced the right side of her nose.
"Do you prefer hard plastic or jelly?"
"Um, I don't know." Shari gulped, then took a deep breath. She looked at her toes. "I've never bought one."
"Well, you've come to the right place -- no pun intended," the girl said, giving a little giggle.
Shari was surprised to hear herself giggle a little too.
The salesgirl reached for a turquoise plastic model with a thin wand and an egg-shaped head. "This was my first vibrator. It still makes me cum like crazy. It's inexpensive, easy to clean and compact, so it fits in your purse."
"Why would I want it to fit in my purse?"
"Oh, honey, I have to get off a couple of times a day. I bring my vibe with me wherever I go. Actually, I'm wearing one right now."
Shari's eyes involuntarily dropped to the girl's crotch.
"Here, I'll show you," the salesgirl said, then quickly corrected herself upon seeing the terror on Shari's face. "It's on the shelf over here."
She led Shari to the other side of the display. A small, golden bee, suspended from two straps of black elastic, sat buzzing on the shelf. "It has a remote control with six speeds, plus four settings. I personally like this one best." She placed the jelly bee in Shari's hand and pushed a button on the remote twice. The bee's buzz changed tempo from a steady hum to a two-step. "This can make me cum quick."
"Really? It takes me forever." Shari blushed again. "Well, actually, I've never ..."
The girl's eyes widened a bit. "Never? Not even on your own?"
Shari shook her head. "That's why I'm here. My boyfriend thought this would make a difference."
"Oh honey, if you can't cum it's not about the pussy, it's about the head. I mean your brain."
"You mean, like fantasizing?"
"Well, yes and no. I mean, do you tell yourself it's OK? Do you let go? Probably not."
Shari shook her head again.
"OK, I'll tell you a secret. I'm 24, and I didn't know how to cum until a couple years ago, when a friend introduced me to this woman who helped me learn how to relax."
"What kind of woman? A doctor?"
"An orgasm doctor, I guess you could call her. She taught me to visualize my chakras, and it works like a charm. She taught me how to breathe. Would you like me to show you something?"
Shari pictured the young girl sitting cross-legged with a turbaned woman in white, breathing deeply. She pictured herself lying in bed, the small bee strapped to her clit, and felt herself go instantly wet. She wanted nothing more than to strap the bee against her skin and let it buzz. She wanted to feel the waves of pleasure everyone talked about.
"I really should go."
"Aw, come on, it'll only take a minute. I told you I cum fast, didn't I?" she laughed. "By the way, my name is Shelly."
"Shari."
"OK, Shari, come with me."
Shelly swiped the bee off the shelf again, took Shari by the hand and led her behind the counter. Shari resisted a little, but let Shelly direct her. "Hey Doreen, I want to give this customer a demonstration. Give me a knock if Dwayne comes back."
The other salesclerk snapped her gum and went back to her magazine after a quick nod.
Shelly pulled Shari into a small office and turned on the desk lamp. She locked the door.
"We're not supposed to do this, but we both do. I figure if you can't try before you buy, it's a waste of money."
She sat down in the desk chair, then motioned for Shari to sit across from her. "You don't have to put this on if you don't want to, but I think you should."
She handed Shari the bee. "I promise it won't sting you."
Shari looked at the small object and its straps.
"Here, I'll shut my eyes. Put it on over your panties, though," Shelly instructed her.
Shari could not believe what she'd gotten herself into. Here she was, with a girl in the back room of a sex shop, getting ready to watch this stranger get off, and maybe get off herself. She felt her breasts and her pussy tingling. What the fuck. Here goes nothing, she thought, and slipped off her heels. She slid her feet into the elastic bands and wriggled the contraption up her thighs. She felt Shelly watching her.
"Sorry, I lied. Here, let me help you make sure it's positioned right."
Shelly gently began to run her hand up beneath Shari's dress. Shari forced herself to remain still. "I want you to look at me, and I want you to take three deep breaths with me, in and out through your nose. Imagine that you're pulling the air up through your pussy, through your body. Think of the color red swirling around inside you. Think of heat and of pleasure."
They breathed together. Shari's thighs quivered at Shelly's tender touch. "Have you ever been touched by another woman before?"
"No."
"Do you mind this?" Shelly's hand came to rest on her pubic bone. She pressed gently with two fingers. "This is your second chakra. Light pressure here sends me to the moon."
Shari felt her pussy get five degrees hotter.
Reflexively, her head dipped back a bit. Shelly laughed. "I guess you don't mind."
"Do it again."
"First let's turn this on." Shelly extracted a small remote control from the front pocket of her jeans and pushed the buttons. A soft buzz filled the air. "And yours... you do it. Set it to the station that feels the best."
Shari fumbled with her remote control. The second the vibration hit her clit, she felt it stiffen and rise. Heat and wetness flooded her crotch. Her nipples tingled and burned. She tried another setting, then another, finally resting on a soft pulsing sensation.
"Now I want you to breathe with me again. And then, I want to kiss you."
Shari felt the familiar aqueous tension building in her lower abdomen. Shelly reached out and cupped Shari's breast, then pulled Shari's head toward her. She paused and smiled. "Here's to your first orgasm, Shari," and with that, Shelly kissed Shari firmly and passionately on the mouth. Instantly, Shari's lips parted and her tongue plunged into Shelly's mouth.
Shari could feel her mind struggling, the old morals and values rising up against the situation. She wanted to stop but she couldn't. Shelly's mouth was all velvet and her hands were silk upon her body. She didn't want to stop.
"Ignore it. Shut it out. Feel the pleasure. Think of the red energy swirling through you. That's the truth. That's what's real."
Shari put her hand in Shelly's hair and kissed her again.
"Ah, God, here I go. I want you to put your hand on my pussy. I want you to feel me cum," Shelly said, pushing Shari's hand between her legs. Shari felt the buzzing bee and something else. She felt the muscles of Shelly's pussy pulsating, contracting through her jeans. Shari was panting in rhythm with Shelly's panting. "I'm cumming, now, for you. Can you feel ..." Shelly threw her head back and lifted her hips, pressing into Shari's hand. Shari felt warm wetness spread through the denim. "Oh baby, you made me spray." The contractions were slowing under her palm and Shelly's breathing was slowing. Shari felt her own pussy getting tighter and hotter and wetter.
"Oh."
Shelly opened her eyes, looked at Shari, and smiled.
"Yes, there you go. Just relax and let it happen." She slid to her knees. "I want to watch your pussy. Can I? I love watching a pussy quiver and move as it cums."
Shari didn't even think. She lifted her hips, hiked up her skirt and spread her legs wide. Shelly slid to the floor in front of her and pulled her panties to the side. "There you go baby, I can see you starting to shake." She leaned closer. "Can I taste you? You look so sweet, and I love the taste of pussy precum."
Shari pushed her hips forward. She felt Shelly's small fingers gently separate her swollen lips, then felt Shelly's small tongue dart inside her vagina. She pictured herself floating in a river of pleasure, every nerve cell on fire, the tension in her belly almost too much to bear. Then she went over the waterfall. Her pussy began to pulse and contract, just as Shelly's had. "Oh God," she said. "Oh God! Ah yes!" Shelly's tongue lapped more vigorously at her quivering pussy, flattening out and pushing the bee aside. She sucked gently on Shari's swollen clit, then licked it. Shari felt her body relax and the waves of pleasure moved slower and slower down it. A fizzy sense of bliss set into her brain, her skin, her muscles.
"Oh my God. Oh my God," she said, laughing. "Jesus, that was so amazing. I can't believe it. I came!"
Shelly looked up at her and smiled. "Yes, baby, you came, that's for sure." Shelly slid up and kissed Shari on the mouth.
A knock startled them. "Dwayne just pulled up. You'd better get out here," Doreen muttered through the door.
Shelly grinned. "Perfect timing." She helped Shari out of the strap on and sprayed it with cleanser. "I'll clean this up. You go on out there before he comes in." She gave Shari a kiss on the cheek. "Welcome to womanhood, Shari."
Shari smiled and opened the door. With new confidence, she walked back over to the display of vibrators, found the box she wanted and strode to Doreen.
"I'll take this one," she said, slapping her Visa card down on the counter. Prude, my ass, she thought. I'll show Erik who's prude.
Originally published in July 2005 - "Coming with a Bang!"